Your most important relationship is that with yourself. Unfortunately, it is often one that is most likely to be ignored. There is a stigma against concentrating on yourself, but the truth of the matter is that your own relationship with yourself is that which defines all others. If you want to make a change in the way you live your life, you have to first start by getting to know yourself again. The five tips below can change the way that you see the world and the way that you view yourself.
You need space to get to know yourself. Like a honeymoon with a new spouse, it is important to have some time away from the world to get used to your new relationship. Even if the time is just for an afternoon, take a bit of time to spend some time alone. It can be frightening to do so, but it is a worthwhile effort. In the absence of others, you may well find your true self.
You probably have a certain view of yourself. You might still define yourself as you in high school or in university – no matter what, though, the odds are that the image is out of date. If you want to get to know yourself, you have to evaluate yourself as you are now instead of how you were then. You might be surprised by who you find.
Take a Risk
If you really want to improve your relationship with yourself, you have to step out of your comfort zone. If you are trying to make peace with yourself, take one of those risks that you have always wanted to take. I have never felt better about myself than when I decided to switch career paths and go back to school – it was a huge monetary risk, but I was giving in to what I wanted instead of what others wanted. Doing that helped me to regain a measure of respect for myself that I know now that I had lost.
Being honest with yourself is harder than you think. When most people say they are being honest with themselves, they mean they are being negative. What I mean, though, is evaluating yourself with an objective point of view. If I spend only a moment or two thinking of myself, the odds are that I will come up with a list of flaws. If I force myself to come up with a list of things that are good about myself, though, I find that I can respect myself as a person and that I can make more progress in my other relationships in life.
Work for It
Perhaps more than anything else, though, you have to spend some time working on your relationship with yourself. I have always been great at working on my relationships with others, but I tended to ignore my own needs. When I decided that I needed to improve the way I thought about myself, one of the major things I had to do was to realize that it was going to be a life-long process. Taking time to realize that all of the steps above are things that have to be repeated from time to time is a good way to stop falling back into old habits.